Rabbie Burns?

Chinese Whisky is apparently now as good as Scotch Whisky ; China's Li Na and Scotland's Andrew Murray both came 2nd at the Australian Open; and this weekend falls smack in the middle of Burns's  birthday (25th Jan) and the Chinese New Year (Feb 3rd) .  And as if that isn't spooky enough for you:  It's going to be the year of the RABBIT - which is how Chinese people pronounce ROBERT .

The link between all these ChinoScottish (dis)connects is clearly and unequivocally The Mustard Seed  in Faringdon - but to explain HOW and WHY is beyond the bounds of this simple email.  Douglas Adams puts it very simply : "When you try to take a cat apart to see how it works then what you get is a non-working cat" .

So:  Sorry.  There's not going to be a full-blown explanation of all the Holistic links in this email . We don't want non-working cats.

But - at LEAST we can list just a couple of the reasons why Rabbie Burns would have been a Frequent Shopper (with a Loyalty Card) at the Mustard Seed :

•  - Rabbie's Birthday is the SECOND most celebrated birthday on the Planet (guess who's first! ) 
•  - Rabbie  - like most Scots - had an eye for a bargain.  Then  - at the age of 29, the Poacher turned into Gamekeeper and he became an Exciseman (preventer of smuggled & untaxed goods).  Quoting from a letter to his uncle <make sure you read this out in broad Scots!>  "Previously - I WAS engaged in the smuggling trade, and God knows if ever any poor man experienced better returns — two for one! — but now I am thinking of taking out a license and beginning in fair trade.' 

Is this the earliest reference (1788) to "Fair Trade" that we can find ?   (There's a challenge for you ! )  

And Rabbie's BOGOF reference of "two for one" is also a wistful observation of his partner's propensity to give birth to twins.....  

Burns's poetry (when it wasn't about women's breasts! ) was very radical; and strongly supported the underdog and the dispossessed. 

He most certainly would have wanted to banish UNfair trade - and would have applauded our wholehearted support for the Mustard Seed :  

For a' that an' a' that
It's coming yet for a' that
That man to man, the world o'er
Shall brithers be for a' that

CEREALISTS Unite!

Did you know that SALVADOR DALI  has exactly  the same number of letters as the new cereal recently launched by Traidcraft :   TRAIDCRAFT GEOCRUNCH  ? 

(hey - so maths ain't my strong point - Sue me. )

The point I'm trying to make is this. 

TRAIDCRAFT (10 letters) have come out with a STUNNINGLY (10 letters) FANTASTICO (10 letters)  NEWCEREALO (10 letters) . 

And if this is not CEREALISM  (9 letters) at its best - then SALVADOR (8 letters) is my BROTHER (7 letters) and not my SISTER (6 letters) or my UNCLE (5 letters) nor even my AUNT (4) , or DAD (3) or MA (2) .  Perhaps, put simply  :  He is I  (1) . 

Which PROVES (like dough)  that you just HAVE to (yes - that is an ORDER!  ) try the new GEOCRUNCH.


WOW - it really is the most STUNNINGLY FANTASTICO NEWCEREALO (10, 10, 10) .   It really really really is delicious.

(Jump forward in time : now that you've bought it & tasted it.)

So - what do you think?  Better than Acai berries?   Better than blueberries ?  Isn't  it the Best Weight Loss Programme Ever? The Best Baggy Eyes solution Ever?   The Best Cellulite Reduction Programme Ever?  

I thought so!

 Thankyou for your interest in TRAIDCAFT GEOCRUNCH .

Customers who bought this item also bought: 

 

A PRIME Year!

Firstly - a Blessed & Peaceful 2011 to you & family. 

Not only is 2011 a prime number year but we're also going to see four planets in conjunction with one another during May.  Astrologically, this signifies many dark strangers and great opportunities for health, wealth and happiness .  

Ah yes - of course - this prediction must be referring to Fair Trade & the health, wealth & happiness that it brings to dark strangers.  Spot on. And who said astrology is bunkum? 

Most importantly  - a HUGE thank you to all our customers for what turned out to be fantastic record-breaking December.  It was the best month EVER - and 37% above the long-term average.  With three months to go in this financial year, this puts us in good stead for our 25 year celebrations on 11/6/11 . 

THANK YOU - and keep up the good work!  

It may also partially explain why most of the national retailers are reporting big drops in sales during December; not just because of the dip in the economy & the coldest Dec ever etc, but also because people are choosing to shop in the Mustard Seed instead.  National news hasn't picked up on this yet - but WE know.   

The poor are oft misunderstood ,

And paying them fairly we should,

When we’ve all been persuaded,

To buy things fair traded,

Our shops will be wholesome & good ! 

Dashing through the Snough

Heathrow has been phoning the Mustard Seed for advice. 

 

How DOES the Mustard Seed manage to stay open - simply through the valiant efforts of stalwart septuagenarians - without even having access to the 47 Heathrow snoughploughs?

 

Is it all about giving our loyal customers the perfect little shop for all those perfect presents - right up to lunchtime Christmas Eve? 

 

THANK YOU for your continuing support - and a Blessed & Peaceful Christmas to you & family.

 

Sjoerd

On behalf of the Mustard Seed

 

P.S. The Nativity in the digital age : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkHNNPM7pJA   

 

 

Bollywood comes to Town

One of our most popular lines is the authentic and delicious "Bombay Mix" (or - "Mumbai Mix" if you want to be politically correct according to EU directive AP/1x.zz ) .

The price is just £2.85 for a bollywood-sized tub. 

Nicely spicy, and also contains fat juicy sultanas - just as it would do in Mumbai. 

Yep - it's the real stuff alright - unlike some of the cheaper alternatives that just contain insects and straw - and we have it on good authority that Danny Boyle was constantly munching exactly this mixture when directing Slumdog .    No wonder it got so many Oscars. 

It's a real winner - in a fully resealable tub - especially handy when you want to offer really delicious nibbles to your guests over the Christmas period - rather than insects & straw. 

P.S.  In Myanmar it's called "Sarkalay Chee", which literally means Sparrows' Droppings. 

The Plural of Mongoose?

Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat

Please spare a thought for the Mustard Seed so that

The farmers and their families will be celebrating too,

They’ll be thanking you and saying: may God bless you!

Christmas is a coming and the bells begin to ring,

The holly's in the window and the birds begin to sing.

You don't need to worry, and you don't need to fret,

When buying at the Mustard Seed it’s blessings that you‘ll get!

P.S. What IS the plural of mongoose?

Giraffes, Caraffes, & Riffraffes

One of our ilk ( or should I use the more seasonal "elk" ? )  spotted a clever justaposition of elegant necks in the Mustard Seed window this morning.

On the right of the window is a long-necked GIRAFFE  - and on the left is a long-necked CARAFFE .  Both beautiful, both looking at each other slightly confused (that'll be the wine) , and both wanting to tell you where you can put your leftover cooking RIFFRAFFE.

REPLACEMENT COMPOSTABLE STARCH BAGS FOR YOUR KITCHEN CADDY

*****************************************************

There's only two places in Faringdon where you can buy them  - and one of them isn't Budgens.

1. In the Mustard Seed.  Rolls of THIRTY, for £2.99    (10p per bag)

2. In the other place .  Rolls of TWENTY FIVE,  for £3.60  (14.5p per bag)

Wow!  Now that really IS something to talk about at parties - and to rush round to tell your friends & neighbours . What an ice breaker eh?  "Did you know that in the Mustard Seed ....      "

(And as if that isn't enough,  the Mustard Seed ones actually fit better too, AND they're better value than Tescos, Sainsburys, Waitrose...). 

Yep. The Mustard Seed: for all your giraffes, caraffes, and riffraffes.